Fellow Storytellers: Now I do not claim to be a professional psychologist, or anything close. Always seek professional advice when needed. These thoughts are merely my opinions, and what has helped me with my babies. I am a grandmothe of eight, and they have taught me a few things. I believe that as a grandparent, you’ve earned your stripes. You’ve got the wisdom, the stories, and, let’s be honest, the best pound cake recipe in town. But being a grandparent isn’t just about spoiling the little ones (though that’s a pretty sweet perk); it’s about playing a pivotal role in shaping who they’ll become. Whether you’re right next door or a Zoom call away, your influence can be monumental—and you can do this without ever stepping on the parents’ toes. So, grab your coffee, tea, (or whatever grandparenty thing it is you do,) and let’s dive into how you can make a difference in your grandchild’s life while keeping the peace with Mom and Dad.
The Art of Non-Interference
We are all tempted to swoop in with sage advice on everything from diaper brands to bedtime stories. But here’s what I have found to be the golden rule in our home: Don’t interfere, “ENHANCE”. Think of yourself as the sprinkles on some already delicious cupcakes, or the crunch on top of the pound cake of parenting. You’re not there to change the recipe, just to make it even more delightful. Support your children’s choices, reinforce their values, and maybe slip in a few extra hugs and kisses when no one’s looking. By aligning with your adult children’s parenting style, you’re not just respecting their wishes; you’re helping to create a consistent, loving environment that benefits everyone—especially your grandchild.
Breaking Down Barriers—Healing Through Prayer and Communication
Let’s face it—family relationships aren’t always picture-perfect. Sometimes, past disagreements or misunderstandings can create barriers between you and your children, making it harder to build that seamless connection with your grandchild. But here’s the thing: holding onto old grudges is like trying to knit with tangled yarn—it’s messy, frustrating, and ultimately doesn’t get you anywhere. One of the most powerful tools I use in mending relationships with my adult children is prayer. By seeking guidance and peace through prayer, I feel like I open the door to healing, allowing love to replace any lingering resentment. And don’t underestimate the power of a heartfelt conversation with your adult children. Start by expressing your desire to move forward, to be a support rather than a critic, and to work together in raising your grandchild with love and unity. I’ve found that saying “I’m sorry” goes a long way.
Letting Go of the Past—Focusing on a Brighter Future
It’s easy to let past hurts cloud our present relationships, but if there’s one thing grandparenting teaches you, it’s that time is precious. Letting go of old wounds isn’t about forgetting—they’re part of your story—but about choosing not to let them define your current relationship with your adult children. Make a conscious decision to focus on what’s best for your grandchild. This might mean swallowing your pride, apologizing, or simply letting go of past grievances. When you approach your children with a spirit of reconciliation, you’re not just healing your relationship with them—you’re also setting an example for your grandchild about the importance of forgiveness, understanding, and love. When I first decided to help my son, who is a single parent, we had many conversations. I asked him how I could help, what he needed from me. He confided in me what he thought he needed. I try to stay within those confines. As the grands grew up we would come back together and reassess. One would have to ask him, but I like to think that it has helped through the years.
4: Building Bonds—Whether Near or Far
Life doesn’t always place us within easy driving distance of our grandchildren, but distance doesn’t diminish our impact. In the age of technology, there are many ways to stay connected. Sure, in-person visits are unbeatable, but a well-timed video call can work wonders too. Although we are blessed to have all of our grand in the same state, three of our grands are an hour away. We do not get to see them quite as much, but their parents do a great job coming down to fellowship. You can also send letters (remember those?), surprise them with care packages, or read them a bedtime story over Zoom. What matters most is that they know you’re always there, cheering them on from wherever you are. The key, as with most things, is consistency. And let’s be real—your face on a screen might be the only thing that can pull them away from those video games for five minutes!
5:Grandparenting with Purpose—Making Every Moment Count
Every interaction with your grandchild is an opportunity to instill values, share wisdom, or simply make them laugh. Whether you’re teaching them how to bake cookies, sharing stories from “back in the day,” or just being a shoulder to lean on, these moments are the building blocks of their development. Be intentional about your time together, no matter how brief or spaced out it may be. Your role is not just to be the fun grandparent, but also the wise one—the one who listens without judgment and loves unconditionally. Remember, you’re part of the village it takes to raise a child, and your influence can be both lasting and loving.
At the end of the day: Being a grandparent is one of life’s greatest joys.
- It’s not about being perfect or having all the answers.
- It’s about being present.
- Whether you’re a daily fixture in their lives, or a voice on the phone, your love and support will leave an indelible mark on your grandchild’s heart. So, embrace your role, sprinkle a little wisdom here and there, and most importantly, just be there. After all, you’ve got a lifetime of love to give, and they’ve got a lifetime of memories to make with you by their side.
In His Grip: Kathryn
